I would have liked a close up of the ketchup bottle coming out of the bag. The waving hand in the shot shouldn't have been there at that critical moment. Might be worth using the audio and dropping in the close up (ketchup at that point. Close up of "diamond" disappointment - critical. I liked the zing and the flash when the ring came out... it's then you should have hit the expression...cut to next parcel. I know you've got to cut out a half second. I didn't like the burger dip - put me off the ketchup at that point. I think you can do even better, sorry to appear overly critical of your effort. I tried to be constructive with my suggestions. Remember you don't need to see the words spoken just hear them and drop in another scene.
Dafydd, I seem to have an aversion to close-ups. I feel hesitant to ask for too many takes from family. Now I'll throw myself under the Shatabdi Express...
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